I know how this little guy feels. I feel like I'm gonna be sprinting until graduation. Luckily I've built in a nice trip to California for myself (a nursing convention so it is completely school related...lol...oh who am I kidding it is soo gonna be vacation too). Then I found out my big project is due about 2 weeks earlier than I thought. So guess who's gonna be putting in 6 hours a week on that...unless I get an extension [insert prayer to God...please God let her give me an extension]. And now my mither is coming down...so that is gonna make things more interesting I'm sure. And sadly, I still have not even done my resume...so what is the point of all this if I don't have a job when I'm done. better get that and my applications done stat. where does the time go? today, i referred to something that happened at the beginning of my shift (~3pm) as "this morning"!!!! crazy. with the grace of God (and maybe a little redbull) i'll get there. can you people stop having life problems til i get done with school, please? lol. where's my mulivitamin?

j.o.b.'s

"speaking of your j.o.b. mulder...."
as you can see i just got my $10 copy of season 6 of the x-files. i knew if i held out i wouldn't have to pay that ridiculous $100. of course, i am about 10 years behind or something like that...but hey.
i've been thinking about this thing: fan obsession
what exactly is the point of obsessing over famous people? i am guilty on many charges (the victims are pictured throughout this blog), but i still can't figure out why i do it.



i am for the most part a perfectly sane person (uber healthy in the mental health department) so I know that in the scheme of life...these people, their work, etc. are all very fleeting. just like the rest of us: here today, gone tomorrow.

and lately when i watch award shows (as i have done since i was like 10) i can't help thinking: what is the bloody point? sometimes it's like they are just giving the award to someone b/c...well, they have to give it to somebody. half the time i think they just chose the nominees b/c they were the only ones around. the best example of this is the animated feature film. some of these are real crap...but hey, they are the only ones that year, so by all means let's nominate them. bleh. this year i think most of them deserved recognition though. but, i diverge from my point: all in all the awards don't mean anything at all (except maybe for the actor who gets more parts the next year...til he is forgotten for the new winners). and the funniest part is how serious people take them...as though all of life depends on receiving a gold piece of hardware.

so, why then? there must be something good or at least a reasonable answer for why I and thousands of others fawn over these people! b/c they seem like cool people? DOUBTFUL...i feel sorry for a lot of the poor shmoes and most are boring (except zooey....you have to admit she is so cool).


good role models then? well...that's a big NO...for the same reason i just mentioned. why then?!!!! i will attempt to describe my theory, based on my recent return to obsessing over gillian anderson:

when I watch a performance by someone like GA, I can't help but think that what she is doing surpasses plain ol' entertainment. in her performances you can see that she is totally there. she is the character. and in those moments she is somehow giving us a truth...we are peering in on her soul. this does not have to take place during a dramatic scene (even though Gillian is really good at those). actors can show us anything from pure joy to unimaginable heartbreak.
[nothing like jackie coogan in Chaplin's the Kid]

now you might think..well all that is in the writing. and i would agree that a lot of it is. but it is up to the actor to make us believe it...to reveal that character's truths and inner self. all this sounds crazy. but it has to be true. just consider the x-files. on paper scully is steely fbi agent who' partner is completely crazy. she has been abducted and beaten to pulp many a time. and on top of that, they want us to believe that she is still a regular gal who desires marriage and babies (even alien/human hybrid ones, if that is all she can get).

now put Gillian Anderson in the part and you get about a billion gallons of subtext that somehow make all this pefectly reasonable. and on top of that she can make sure that you're heart is as broken as the character's with one look. and she did it for 9 years! that is pretty darned good. and if that weren't enough she went and did all those little (some not so little) parts in things like Bleak House, House of Mirth, Mighty Celt, The Mighty, Playing by Heart....you get the picture.



so, what was my point?! well, just this: when an actor is vulnerable enough to give us the truths of life (joy, sorrow, love, mad-crazy anger, or humor...which is really a more complex thing, but i'll list it anyways) i think it triggers a little alarm in those watching. and i think it is those qualities in these people that makes us cling to them. Or... maybe it is just that they are hot:
Okay maybe it is too complex to be figured out in a blog. you know i originally started this, intending to write about the fact that i will soon be a working stiff and that i need to spruce up my resume. oh well. did i mention i'm very obsessive? let the madness continue, but remember that real life is out there somewhere (kinda like the truth):)